Saturday, August 05, 2006

How Situ Sees 'em - NFC East Edition

I know ya'll been waiting for this so here it is. Here’s my rundown of the NFC East in the order that they finished last year. For my key additions, only those players who I feel will make a significant contribution are listed. As for key losses, they’re players the team should really miss.

New York Giants
2005 Record: 11-5

Key additions:
LaVar Arrington, LB
Will Demps, S
Sam Madison, CB
R.W. McQuarters, CB
Brandon Short, LB
Mathias Kiwanuka, DE
Sinorice Moss, WR

Key losses:
Jerry Azumah, CB

If ending on a hot streak at the end of last year is cause for high expectations in 2006, then the Giants poor finish to last year should be cause for concern this season. Eli Manning struggled down the stretch throwing 12 of his 17 interceptions in the second half of the season. And I’m sure the G-men would love to forget their 23-0 blowout loss to Carolina in the playoffs. And don’t forget the blow ups afterwards when Tiki questioned Coach Couglin's play calling. I know it’s cliché but a lot of where the Giants go depends on the play of their quarterback. Eli looked good at times last year but then at other times struggled making poor decisions and throwing into coverage. Tiki Barber had a career year and carried Eli and the offense a lot of the time last year but I am doubtful he will repeat last years success this season. First of all, Tiki is now 31 years old, an age where many backs break down. Curtis Martin had a career year in ’04 then just one year later he struggled to gain 700 yds with a 3.3 yd average last season. Not only do I believe Tiki’s age will be a factor but I’m not sure Tiki even wants to duplicate last years success as evidenced here. Sinorice Moss is overrated and has his brother to thank for being drafted so high. Santana is a decent receiver who had a big year last year so the Giants were fooled into thinking little brother Sinorice would duplicate Santana’s production. As for the defense, it was hardly the bright spot finishing 24th in total D and 27th in pass D. The Giants attempted to remedy this problem by overhauling the secondary and bringing in big names like Will Demps, RW McQuarters, and Sam Madison. McQuarters and Madison are old and on the decline however and I am not sure how much of a step up they are from Will Allen and Will Peterson who the G-men released. They also brought in Arrington, who I admit I like him. He is a mean hitter and can dive over piles but I have to fall back on my old philosophy: if you aren’t good enough to start for your own team, then you can’t be that great of a king. So G-men will still play people tough will good weapons on offense and you know they will bring a mean pash rush.

Washington Redskins
2005 Record: 10-6

Key additions:
Al Saunders, Off Coordinator
Adam Archuleta, S
Andre Carter, DE
Brandon Lloyd, WR
Antwaan Randle El, WR
Rocky McIntosh, LB

Key losses:
LaVar Arrington, LB
Matt Bowen, S

The ‘Skins have arguably the best coordinators in the league in Al Saunders and Gregg Williams. I think Joe Gibbs has been passed by so look for this to be his last year coaching. Go to Nascar bum. On offense Brunell is the starter but he is old and should he go down then the unproven Jason Campbell will get the reigns. I love the fit of Al Saunders and Porty-Porty. Heck, I love Porty-Porty period. How could you not? Chris Cooley is very underrated for his production. He will move from the H-back, which he clearly invented in the pros, and play straight TE this year. As I mentioned earlier, Santana had a lucky season last year, but should get help from Randal El (also overrated) and Brandon Lloyd. None of these guy are special, but they are all decent talent to keep defenses from keying on one. As for the defense, they are better on paper than on the field. Gregg Williams is the heart and soul of this D, getting the most out of average players. Taylor is a troublemaker and has yet to translate his college potential to the NFL. Shawn Springs was good once, but that was about 4 years ago. Archuleta = mad overrated. He is the kind of guy who would go for a kill shot and miss the tackle and someone will score on him. I do like the addition of Andre Carter who is underrated as a pass rusher. Cornelius Griffin is good too. Al Saunders offense is great but it may take a while to develop. The defense will prolly be in the top 10 again but I am not sure these ’Skins can get in the playoffs due to their tough competition in the beastly east.


Dallas Cowboys
2005 Record: 9-7

Key additions:
Akin Ayodele, LB
Rocky Boiman, LB
Marcus Coleman, S
Jason Fabini, OT
Kyle Kosier, OL
Terrell Owens, WR
Mike Vanderjagt, K

Key losses:
Larry Allen, OL (missed for coolness) PS (this nigga got shot when he was a child in Compton)
Dan Campbell, TE (ditto, not that he was shot, but he was cool)

T.O. is hands down the best free agent acquisition of the off season. The second best? Mike Vanderjagt. The Cowboys lost three games last year by 3 points or less. They had horrible kickers in Jose Cortez and Billy Cundiff. Cortez was so gay, I wish Witten wouldn’t have saved him. Vanderjagt is the most accurate kicker in NFL history and even if he thinks it is too hot here, he can just get over it. As for T.O. what more do I have to say? Have you ever seen him play? Well ever since he beat the Packers and cried, he has been a beast! People try to punk him because he said Jeff Garcia was gay. Who hasn’t said Jeff Garcia was gay? Even if Garcia doesn’t date men, he is still gay and will always be gay. The only thing gayer than Garcia is the Iggles. They are babies and if I risked my career playing on a broken ankle and still produced and then my quarterback quit and got sick, I would be mad too. Anyone who thinks T.O. will blow up this season is right. Blow up opposing defenses! He won’t have beef with his teammates unless they do something gay. If that’s the case, then I will back T.O. up. Now that I got that off my chest look at these sick weapons on O. Bledsoe is clearly Hall of Fame material. Anyone who doubts me, I can show you the numbers to back up that Bledsoe is already better than most of the quarterbacks in there. After Bledsoe, you got Witten and the next Mark Bavaro running jayhawk together, you got the speedy She stretching the field, and the backfield of Julius and MB3. The line is the only questionable place on the offense and believe me it will be shored up this year with the additions of Kyle Kosier and J. Fabini and Flozell and Marco Rivera back from injuries. As for the defense, where do I begin with these kings? This line backing crew is sick. They are actually having trouble getting everyone on the field cuz they only have 4 positions and so many g’s. Duh-Maah-kiss will be in the Pro Bowl this year and have double digit sacks. Also you got Bradie James, Kevin Burnett, Good-abs, Rocky Boiman, and the young rook Bobby C. Plus ole Bert might even move to OLB and get some pass rush. The d-line has many young prospects who will give opposing o-lines fits. Chris Canty was the steal of last years draft and watch for the athletic Jason Hatcher to make a splash soon. With as great as those kings are the bright spot of this defense may be the secondary! T-New was robbed of a pro bowl spot last year and will not be denied this year. That beast shut down Steve Smith so badly, Smith cried and got kicked out of the game. Don’t forget about Roy boy. He will break about 3 mens legs this season. Young Pat Watkins and his giant frame is making a name for himself too. In training camp the secondary is making the offense look bad because they shut down the passing game so much. I don’t know if the ’Boys will see a passing game with the likes of T.O. and Glenn this season so if the secondary can shut them down imagine what they’ll do to the teams they hate. Parcells may be obese with high Urkel pants, but he is still a king. He will always have the squad ready. If you think this is too long, it is because the Cowboys have so many great players to write about. In Willie voice, “The Cowboys will win the Super Bowl. That is all.”

Philadelphia Eagles
2005 Record: 6-10

Key additions:
Jabar Gaffney, WR
Jeff Garcia, QB
Darren Howard, DE

Key losses:
T.O!!!!

McNabb is back from injury but all I keep hearing about is how he is free from distraction this year. If that scrub would have worried more about winning games last year and less about what other people think about him, maybe the Iggles wouldn’t have been dead last in the division. I guess McNabb just gets tracted easily. What is funny is should McNabb go down, then the gay will come in. Blah blah blah…the Iggles are gay. Who cares about them. Just watch this.

1) Dallas Cowboys
2) New York Giants
3) Washington Redskins
4) Philadelphia Eagles

Previous divisions by Situ: NFC North, NFC South, NFC West, AFC East, AFC North, AFC West, AFC South

2 Comments:

Blogger Andrew said...

you're right, muh baad. Everyone Ellis is bert not ernie. remember this?

4:26 PM  
Blogger Andrew said...

I fixed it. thanks!

4:37 PM  

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