If The NFL Was A High School

NBC Sports has an interesting piece that speculates who would fill what role if the NFL was a high school. It is a pretty funny article that also lists the NFL’s “10 most popular kids.” Here is a small excerpt.

“Bill Parcells not allowing his rebellious students to use the bathroom during fifth period history, Jerry Porter once again skipping Art Shell's disorderly science class, and new principal Roger Goodell sitting mouth open, hair disheveled, staring at the list of students facing suspensions.”

The article also lists the NFL’s “10 most popular kids” with some funny blurbs about each one. For example, about Mike Vick:

“There was a lot of talk about Vick when he was still in junior high. He was tearing up the blacktop at lunch and dominating sixth-graders in P.E. class. When he got to NFL High as a freshman, he impressed with phenomenal highlights on junior varsity.”

And regarding Reggie Bush:

“Bush is definitely the coolest kid in the freshman class; hanging out with upperclassmen, going to the senior class parties and might even score a date to the prom.”

About Ray-Ray:

“He's the kind of guy who will hit another guy in the arm as he walks by in the halls. The other guy will act like it didn't hurt that bad and even give a little half-hearted smile -- mainly out of insecurity -- before muttering to his friend what a jerk Lewis is. Then later when that guy is walking with a cookie or something, Lewis will deliver an even bigger punch knocking the cookie to the ground. Lewis will then pick it up, run 15 yards the other way where he will eat the cookie and do a spastic, very scary style of dance.”

The article’s author, Jimmy Spencer, also has some sick Saved by the Bell references. He says about Donovan McNabb:

“He's well liked and people think he's super. But this guy is up to something, like Jessie Spanos' New York City stepbrother.”

Now that’s a great sportswriter. Spencer ranks T.O. as the most popular kid at NFL high and says this about him:

“Owens has it all and that's why he is the most popular kid at NFL High. He's Zack Morris and A.C. Slater combined. He is the class clown, the bully, charming and good looking, and he drinks up every ounce of attention that showers him.”

Rating the NFL’s top personalities (NBCSports.com)