Thursday, April 26, 2007

Situ's 2007 Mock Draft

1. Oakland Raiders - JaMarcus Russell QB LSU
The Raiders, or namely Al Davis, have been on JaMarcus’ nutz for a while now. They want him to just air it out to Moss and hell that just might work but I doubt the O-line can block to let Moss get down field.

2. Detroit Lions – Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame
Matt Millen read “Drafting for Dummies” upside down. This organization doesn’t know how to pick. They could take Calvin Johnson, but I think they are so tired of getting made fun of for always taking receivers that they will pass this year. The weird thing is, this is finally the year they should really take him. Anyway, they have mad regrets not taking a QB last year and they are close to not having any fans so it’s time to get a face of the franchise in Quinn.

3. Cleveland Browns - Adrian Peterson, RB, Oklahoma
Could use Joe Thomas or Calvin Johnson but Peterson could have more of an impact with the 1-2 punch with J-Lew. Damn, I just feel sorry for AD since he has to be a Brown. Oh well, he overcame going to gay OU so he is used to it.

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Calvin Johnson, WR, Georgia Tech
It was speculated that Johnson was only good because he had such a great, cool QB. Anyway, the Bucs get their boyfriend and they didn’t even have to trade or sleep with Geezoid or anyting like dat. Now if they can just decide which of their 10 QB’s will get the ball to Johnson, they will be straight.

5. Arizona Cardinals – Joe Thomas, OT, Wisconsin
Every year some O-lineman is supposed to be a king…remember Bob Gallery? Yeah he fuckin sucks but D’Brickashaw is solid and Thomas will be solid also. The Cards O-line was horrible last year and they lost their best man, so Thomas starts immediately, he doesn’t even have to show up or anything, he starts for them already. Right now he starts and he hasn’t even been drafted. No, I mean if you go into Ken Whisenhunt’s office, Joe Thomas is on the death chart as the number one left tackle right now.

6. Washington Redskins – Gaines Adams, DE, Clemson
The ‘Skins were last in the NFL last year in sacks with a franchise-record low 19 sacks for all season. Adams is a gift to fall to them here so this is a no-brainer. Dan Snyder isn’t good at drafting so they could surprise people with someone stupid here, like a gay guard or something, but they can’t be that dumb.

7. Minnesota Vikings – Jamaal Anderson, DE, Arkansas
Let me just say right off the bat that the Vikings could take a number of players here. They are a team that is in the rebuilding phase and if any of the big name backs/receivers are available here, they will take them. With that said, as you can see in this mock draft, none of them are here so the Vikes go with their other big need. While their defense was tops in the league at stopping the run, they were also 31st against the pass. A possible choice here is Laron Landry but I will go with Anderson as their pass rush struggled most. Look for the Vikings to be drafting in the top 3 next year as they will blow this season.

8. Atlanta Falcons – LaRon Landry, S, LSU
Atlanta is another team that, like Minnesota, has lots of holes. Should they draft Stanley Yelnats? Prolly, but they will get the best player available, the black Ron Perlman. Pete will buy his jersey.


9. Miami Dolphins – Amobi Okoye, DT, Louisville
The trend continues – like the Vikings and Falcons before them, the ‘Phins have many needs. Their O-line is super crappy and a OT could be taken here, but I still maintain that lineman are easy to be found later. With a pick this high you want something more impacting, and Okoye has too much potential. Plus, he told his HS coach that he was related to Chrisian Okoye. Although, Miami passes on the O-lineman here, look for them to draft like two or three in later rounds. Oh and they will be picking in the top three next year also.

10. Houston Texans – Leon Hall, CB, Michigan
The Texans dropped the ball last year by not drafting hometown hero Vince. That really has nothing to do with this, I just wanted to remind any Texans fans who might read this that they fucked up on that one. Anyway…remember last year when the Texans tried to say, “we play the Colts twice a year so we need players to defend against their passing attack”. Well, they still play the Colts twice a year and they still need those defenders. Maybe Adam Carriker, but I go with Hall. If he’s good they’ll have two good, young corners with Hall and Dunta Robinson. Wait did I just say Dunta Robinson was a good corner?

11. San Francisco 49ers – Adam Carriker, DE, Nebraska
The ‘Niners were busy in the off-season to fill many holes, especially on D. They still need some pass rushers to go along with the great Manny Lawson. Carriker has a good motor and is a hard worker which Coach Nolan likes. Niners could also look at a receiver here, but still may be a little early to take the ones left.

12. Buffalo Bills – Patrick Willis, LB, Mississippi
The Bills desperately need a RB and an ILB. Allright let me break it down to you like this: Right now their starting RB is the A-Train, Anthony Thomas. His back-up is Shaud Williams. As for their LB’s, other than Angelo Crowell, you won’t even have heard of these dudes. I am serious. Right now, UT has better backers than the Bills. They are so desperate for LB’s that Coy Wire is now a LB. What’s he gon’ do, jump out a swimming pool? Anyway, the Bills will address both these in this draft and the choice is tough, but I go with Willis only because he is a better talent than Marshawn Lynch. I really don’t see any way AD could fall to here, but if so, it’s a done deal, the Bills would snatch him up.

13. St Louis Rams – Alan Branch, DT, Michigan
This is kinda by default. They need some D-Lineman. Who is better Branch or Justin Harrell? I say Harrell but they will prolly think it’s Branch and grab him here.

14. Carolina Panthers – Greg Olsen, TE, Miami
Panthers defense is stronger than offense right now, so I give this first pick to the offensive side of the ball. Could go with an OT or S but I heard someone who covers the Panthers say that Olsen was a “big Steve Smith” so umm yeah.

15. Pittsburgh Steelers – Jarvis Moss, LB, Florida
The Steelers will still run 3-4 but are transitioning to 4-3. Moss will replace Joey Porter and is already a better pass rusher.

16. Green Bay Packers – Marshawn Lynch, RB, Cal
This was too easy. Sorry, but Vernand Morency is not carrying the runningback load. With letting Almond go, the Packers are surely going to take an RB with this pick and Lynch is the best available back.

17. Jacksonville Jaguars – Reggie Nelson, S, Florida
Deon Grant peaced out and Donovin Darius is getting old. I don’t have anything witty to say here. Sorry.

18. Cincinatti Bengals – Paul Posloszny, LB, Penn State
Did I spell his name right? Who cares. Marvin Lewis thinks he likes Ted Ginn but their linebacker core is too crappy to pass up Posloszny. And I believe he is a good leader so maybe he can keep all their players from getting arrested all the time. I doubt it, but maybe.

19. Tennessee Titans – Ted Ginn, WR, Ohio State
Obviously the Titans need a big play receiver as they let the Hobbit go. It could be argued who is the best receiver at this point and I leaned some towards Dwayne Jarrett since Norm Chow knows him, but I think they will need someone who can stretch the field as their other receivers are possession type guys. Also Ginn can return punts/kicks for them since they lost Adam Jones due to beatin’ down strippers.

20. NY Giants – Aaron Ross, CB, Texas
The Giants need a cornerback or an OLB. Who cares what they do, they will be gay next year by default. Aaron Ross is cool though.

21. Denver Broncos – Robert Meachem, WR, Tennessee
The Munchos lost a few players to death this off-season but they also have some old players they need to replace. Among them d-line, safety, and receiver. They will cover receiver here.

22. Dallas Cowboys – Levi Brown, OT, Penn State
The Cowboys have lots of options here to pretty much get the best player available. Hell, if Brown falls this low, I say grab his fat ass to replace Flozell-hotel who is old and falling off. Other possibilities are a cool safety, cool pass rusher, or cool receiver. They’ll be in the Super Bowl.

23. Kansas City Chiefs – Dwayne Jarrett, WR, USC
Have the Chiefs ever had a good wide-out? They did have that one guy from HSU but clearly their only feared receiver is their tight end. Jarrett can be the playmaker they need at wide-out.

24. New England Patriots – Lawrence Timmons, LB, Florida State
The Pats, like the Cowboys, are pretty good. Actually I will be first to call they meet up in the Super Bowl.

25. NY Jets – Darrelle Revis , CB, Pitt
Uh, this is what they need.

26. Philadelphia Eagles – John Beason, LB, Miami
Here are two facts. The Eagles are gay, no matter who they pick. John Beason used to play fullback.

27. New Orleans Saints – Chris Houston, CB, Arkansas
They will get a corner here, just don’t know who. I figure Houston is best one left, but maybe that dude from Fresno St. They need to get that Pepsi machine even though it couldn’t do a bench rep.

28. New England Patriots – Brandon Meriweather, S, Miami
Damn, why does this great-ass team get all the picks? Pete and I still have a bet of who will be better between Meriweather and Laron Landry. If the Pats get Meriweather, he will definitely be the one with the better team honors.

29. Baltimore Ravens – Anthony Spencer , DE/LB, Purdue
They think Dan Cody can replace Adalius Thomas, but what they really want is a beast to get to the QB. Spencer is their man for the job.

30. San Diego Chargers – Michael Griffin, S, Texas
The Chargers need a safety or a receiver. Receivers are deep in this draft.

31. Chicago Bears – John Beck, QB, BYU
I say the Bears do something shocking here. Clearly the weakest point on their team last year was the unreliable Grossman. Some people say Beck is the best QB in this draft, ahead of Russell and Quinn. He won’t be around long, so why not grab him? Only other possibility is an OLB in case Lance Briggs refuses to play.

32. Indianapolis Colts – Justin Harrell, DT, Tennessee
They claim he would’ve been a top 10 pick if he hadn’t torn his biceps. And the Colts need a big DT to plug up the middle where they struggled against the run.


Sleepers:
Brian Smith, DE/OLB, Missouri - Go read about him here.

Eric Weddle, DB, Utah - He's great. Here's a scouting report on Weddle.

Anthony Spencer, DE/OLB, Purdue - I guess he ain't really a sleeper, since I have him going in the first round, but he isn't that know and he will be tremendous. Here's the low-down on Spencer.

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